Starting a conversation is rarely easy, especially in a foreign language. What do I talk about? Is it okay if I ask them this? How do I say this correctly? These and many more questions may cross your mind when trying to chat someone up.
Fortunately, English, just like many languages around the globe, has a variety of ways to ease into a conversation. These may be questions, jokes, statements or even games that help you to get other people to talk (and to keep talking). Today we will be talking about icebreakers.
WHAT ARE ICEBREAKERS?
Literally speaking, icebreakers are ships specifically designed to, well, break the ice, so other ships could pass though the water more easily. Figuratively, icebreakers in language have a similar function, the start the conversation allowing people to join in and bond.
Icebreakers come in all shapes and sizes are extremely versatile and can be adapted to almost any context and situation given the need. It is important to read the room before choosing what to say. Still, all of them share some traits – they are a simple, fun and relaxing. Each icebreaker, when used right, can start a lively and entertaining conversation or even spark a friendship! Most importantly they are supposed to bring people together in a stress-free manner.
WHY ARE ICEBREAKERS USED?
Icebreakers are commonly used for several purposes: to get to know someone, to form a bond, to strengthen a team and so on.
A variety of icebreakers can help in different situations to achieve specific goals, such as improving the collaboration between people or groups, deepening the knowledge of a subject or providing ground for a psychological analysis of a person, etc.
There are several types of icebreakers, each of these can be used depending on the expected or wanted outcome. Some icebreakers are more suitable for an evening out at a bar when trying to chat someone up, others for making new friends at a thematic event or in a work-related environment.
TYPES OF ICEBREAKERS
Types of icebreakers include but are not limited to:
Personal or topic-related jokes
Jokes are some of the most commonly used icebreakers and they might come in many forms such as irony, sarcasm or puns and more. Due to the wide variety of jokes that you may choose from it is both likely that the joke will be entertaining, as the person might have never heard it, and unsuitable as jokes are also a risky choice of an icebreaker. They require great understanding of the environment you are in, the specific situation, the context of the possible conversation as well as the people and language culture in general.
Although icebreakers are supposed to be an easy and fun, each person perceives certain things differently, therefore it is best to avoid jokes if you are not 100% sure they will not come across as inappropriate.
Social clues might help you determine what type of joke to choose and even if to use one at all. Think about the place you are at: is this where people come to relax? Have fun? Work? What are people wearing: are they in casual attire or dressed in suits and formalwear? Once you have acquired enough cultural knowledge you may also determine the type of situation by judging the language used by people are around you.
You may also want to vary between personal jokes and topic-related jokes. Personal jokes should be reserved for casual situations as they are much more informal and do not require you to act in a certain way. However, if you are sure that the people in a business environment will appreciate the joke (especially if you are familiar with the people you are trying to interact with) using a personal joke may help you form a closer bond with your colleagues and become more efficient in your communications.
Try a light and relatable joke that other people might understand thanks to common understanding:
My social media password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my dog.
Most people nowadays have social media and the hassle with passwords is no stranger to many of them, choosing a joke which talks about something that you and many others might have experienced sets up your joke for success marked by laughter.
On the other hand, topic-related jokes are much better for work situations as they help you get into a productive and entertaining conversation that also has set boundaries that will help to keep you away from cultural mistakes that come with inappropriate choice of words.
Think of something that has recently happened in your office, or remember a task that you have to do for work, especially if it’s a team task, and start building your joke from there. For example, if you are reluctant about completing or even starting something joke about that:
Work won’t kill you, but why take a chance?
This is a popular icebreaker commonly used at work as people are usually tired so they will most likely agree with your joke therefore starting a conversation. And even if they are not, it is usually a widely understood joke as work culture has become such a big part of almost everyone’s life..
For more jokes as icebreakers, head over to context appropriate icebreaker jokes for every situation
Getting-to-know-you questions
Much like jokes, questions will help you ease into a conversation with little effort and big reward. But questions also provide an additional quality of gaining more in-depth or even personal knowledge about the person you are trying to talk to.
There is a variety of commonly used icebreaker questions that are rather neutral yet fun and quite telling if interpreted right. They might be used a lot but that is because they work! Although a person to whom the question is addressed might have heard it before or have even partaken in a conversation started with the same or similar question, they have not done it with you and it will be just as exciting to learn something about a new person, or someone that they have not gotten a chance to get to know from the perspective that the question offers. So do not be afraid to use questions that others might have used many times or that are the first to pop up when you google some ideas.
Some of the most popular ice breaker questions include:
What are the three things you would take with yourself to a desert island and why?
What is one thing you do not yet have that you wish to own?
These question is extremely common; it is not too revealing or personal for casual situations but it is also telling if you are carefully listening to the items that the other people list of as their choices. If some items appear to be interesting or unique, perhaps unexpected, you can build the conversation from there. And even if the items that the person chose appear to be rather common and simple you can still politely question what made them make that choice.
But if you choose to try and be a little bit more creative and original with a unique and maybe even personalized question, for example with individualized interest in mind, you have to be cautious. Everyone’s experience is different and so just like with jokes some questions might come across as inappropriate or even triggering if you are not aware of the other person’s experiences.
For example, a question like What was your biggest mess-up as a child? might upset some people or remind them of unwanted and uncomfortable memories. That way the conversation would turn sour or stop altogether before it even had a chance to really start. Therefore, in situations where you do not know the people that well, try sticking to the more generic (but no less fun) ice breaker questions to avoid potentially awkward moments.
For more icebreaker questions, head over to context appropriate icebreaker questions for every situation
Introductory games
Differently from jokes and questions when used as icebreakers, games require specific preparations and environment. You should also be aware of whether or not the audience that you are catering to will be willing participants as games, if physical, require more energy and thinking, if psychological.
It is quite tricky to find just the right balance between a fun introduction and a tiring obligatory event that will leave everyone drained and unwilling to continue to the conversation from there on. In order to avoid unwanted outcome, try to stick to easy and quick games that will be fun and entertaining while they last but will not drag on for too long and ask for too much from other participants.
It is also beneficial to consider that people in a casual situation in relaxed atmosphere will be much more likely to devote their time and energy to game, instead of when they are at work (unless the job is extremely dull and the game would help them escape from the tiring duties, you will not know until you have tried it).
For best results try well-known simple games that are easy to play, require little preparation on both your and other participants’ parts and can be both competitive as well as not.
For example: Two truths and a lie game will both help you get to know people around you and get everyone talking (and guessing!). Simply ask the participants to present the group with two true statements about themselves and one false statements. The group then tries to guess, which one of the three statements is not correct. The winner gets to go next! This game might get really competitive with the right circumstances or can simply be the source for a laugh.
For more icebreaker games, head over to icebreakers games: fun and beneficial activities
Team-building exercises
A good alternative to introductory games in a work environment is team-building exercises. These activities will provide a much needed break from mundane everyday tasks, will help you form a closer bond with your co-workers and might even increase the efficiency in collaborations.
These exercises are designed in such a way that it leaves almost no room for errors, keeping the conversations (and extra activities) work-appropriate and topic-related for best results.
Although team-building exercises are usually organized by leaders or higher-ups it is possible to arrange for a person to initiate an exercise when in any position. Not only this might demonstrate your passion for the job you are doing, great understanding of the social skills improvement needs in a workplace but will also place you in a position of authority if that is something you are interested in.
For a simple, fun and quick team-building exercise that will get everyone talking AND listening try conducting interviews. People are randomly assigned to collegues, a timer is set to a chosen amount of minutes and the interviews start. For a more personalized (however, probably less efficient experience) allow the particpants to form their own questions. But if you wish to have certain information acquired prepare interview questions beforehand and let everyone know by handing them out, sending emails or projecting the questions on a shared board.
For more icebreaker exercises, head over to icebreakers games: fun and beneficial activities
Have great fun starting conversations!